I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
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It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
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looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
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