So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
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