I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
