the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
COCAINE IS GR8
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
