Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
