Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.