PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
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