i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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