If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
