Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
