There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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