Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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