ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize