Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
