It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
NoShamevember. You game?
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
