Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
