What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
