The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
