it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
