I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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