Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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