How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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