And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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