I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Houston, we have a squirter
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
