mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Randomize
