I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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