Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
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