We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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