i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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