My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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