Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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