I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
PANTIES FOUND
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