the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize