What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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