no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Help. Why am I so naked?
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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