What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
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