You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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