i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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