so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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