Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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