No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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