I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize