well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Drunk is a universal language darling
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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