I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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