he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
