Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
