i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize