Those balls look pretty dangerous.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
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