i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize