Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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