is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
