So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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