We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
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i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
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Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
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