I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
