I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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