so that wasnt chicken after all
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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