This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Randomize