I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
