I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
