It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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