they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Randomize
