tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
