Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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